ASSISTANT WANTED (Paid):
I’m looking for an assistant to help me launch a new and improved clips for sale store. I have tons of content and constantly making more. I want to focus on making my kinky smut and have someone else (you) create my platform and upload my content.
-Simple video editing skills
-Know how to share/upload video
-Affiliate program knowledge
-Professional, organized, and reliable
*Bonus Points for graphic design ability, web design skills, and knowing tricks that I don’t!
This is a great opportunity to get involved with indie online adult content distribution, and work with me on making the world a lovelier and smuttier place! Other types of skill sharing/mentoring about porn, kink,event producing, live sex show creating, sex education, sex worker activism, etc is also a possibility.
Please note that this is not a full time or even a part time gig. Hours are flexible and can vary week to week. You must be comfortable working primarily (not totally) on commission. You do not necessarily have to be located in the Bay Area.
Please email me at email@example.com - tell me a bit about yourself and your mad skills.
Thanks, I look forward to hearing from you.
Does your pussy get stretch out bc of what you do?
This is an idiotic question that I will entertain with an intelligent answer for educational reasons only.
“Stretched out pussy” is some fucked up myth that the patriarchy made up to shame and control women’s sexuality. The vagina is filled with muscle tissue that is incredibly elastic. This is all surrounded by the pelvic floor muscle. The more you use any muscle the stronger and tighter is gets, the vagina included. You can only “stretch” any muscle if you tear something - having sex or masturbating is not injuring or tearing your muscle tissue.
My vagina is like an Olympic athlete: super strong and constantly getting me gold and silver shiny things. So go fuck off and learn some anatomy.
In response to you Folsom question, I had an older gentleman ask me if he could like and kiss my butt cheeks and a random women decide she could hit my breasts with a balloon. I thought it was odd but we did have to say things a few times to people visiting our booth about propositioning our girls.
Thanks for sharing. I’m still hoping to get a bunch of “ASK FIRST” panties and stickers out there for next year.
So I had a blast for the short time I was at Folsom yesterday. There was so many fun, attractive, kinky people, performances, and spectators. I wore very little clothing (see photo), as many people at Folsom do, and I was astonished / actually not very surprised at the amount of people who felt that they had permission to grab and touch my body, specifically my ass and breasts - straight men, gay men, couples, and also women. I’ve been talking about consent and how dominant culture privilege affects how it feels, and how one responds when some one touches you with out permission.
I am curious how other people experienced this at Folsom yesterday and how you handled it? #askfirst
Hello you. I'm a big fan of your work and was wondering, have you ever thought about doing a simulated incest scene? x
Why thank you very much, I’m glad you like my work. I really enjoy incest play, it’s one of my favorite taboos! I actually have done a few scenes - Ava Solanas and I did a Big/little sister live performance last year. Arabelle Raphael and I made a movie recently called ‘Strange’, it’s chock full of hot & filthy sister on sister action, side show style. I have also made some really awesomely fucked up custom videos and sessions on skinvideo.com/cam that involve Daddy/daughter, Brother/sister, Uncle/niece play :)
Dear caring partners struggling with accepting your partners job,
Your concern, insecurity and confusion are understandable. We live in a society where sex work is misunderstood and relationships are defined by certain boundaries that don’t take what we do into account.
I love getting pegged. I would love to get pegged by someone as smart, charming, beautiful, sexy, sassy as you. My dream would be MTF transsexual and you laying pipe like you own it. Any chance of a video like this or ? Thank you in advance.
Why thank you. I enjoy fucking people in the ass very much. There is not a video specifically like this out there, not because I would not want to make a video where another woman and I fucked a man in the ass, but no one has booked me to do so. Maybe someday!
My little liberal bubble was popped today! I was on my way to class at CCSF when I got into it with the prolife protesters camping out on campus today (I’m slightly traumatized) about the inaccuracy of their horrific imagery of aborted fetuses/when life begins/why his wife regrets her abortion/why I don’t. (Everyone protesting there was male by the way, I looove it when men tell women what to do with our bodies) Luckily the Women’s Resource Center quickly set up shop right next to them to counteract their intense presence.
Does anyone know of a scientific website or book that had ACCURATE fetus development information? I would love to get my hands on some real scientific images. #prochoice #prorealinformation By the way if you give a fuck about abortion rates, go fight for access to contraception, sex education, affordable child care, paid maternity and paternity leave, poverty - those are the real issues that drive down abortion rates, not banning a medical procedure.
Earlier this week, an Indiegogo campaign went viral: Emerson College’s Phi Alpha Tau fraternity raised money for their frat brother, Donnie Collins, a trans man who needs top surgery. Donnie initially tried to pay for the surgery through Emerson’s insurance, Aetna, since Aetna offers coverage for trans*-related surgeries and hormone replacement therapy; Donnie’s request was denied, however, because Emerson College did not opt in to those services. After Out.com featured an article about Phi Alpha Tau’s Indiegogo campaign, the brothers raised more than twice the $8,000 Donnie needs for the surgery. Donnie’s frat brothers spoke in their Indiegogo video about wanting this fundraiser to start a conversation. There are (at least) two important conversations we’d like to address.
First, not every insurance company covers trans-related services. Colleges are typically hesitant to add these services for financial reasons. When colleges opt in to services for insurance plans they offer to students, they want to ensure they are getting their money’s worth. If a college doesn’t have any trans students, they can claim that these additional services will be paid for by all but enjoyed by few. Their most obvious incentive to add the services is to attract a more diverse student population, but the chances of the college attracting even dozens of trans students who need these services is slim.
It’s good that insurance companies like Aetna are beginning to cover these services, and many colleges are beginning to follow suit by opting into these services. But “many” is not enough. People like Donnie oftentimes don’t have time to wait for their insurance plan to decide to cover necessary services. Raising funds for an individual’s surgery may be successful in the short term, but we shouldn’t have to settle for hoping that the kindness of strangers will make up for the shortcomings of insurance companies and their clients. We need to push for institutional change so that all policies include these services. There are trans people around the country with similar medical needs who spend years saving or raising funds for these procedures and sometimes do not succeed. What about them?
We also need to talk about media coverage around the Indiegogo campaign. Mostreportershavefocusedona hook: that fraternity members defied the frat bro archetype by launching a campaign in support of a trans member. Donnie’s frat brothers deserve a lot of credit for demonstrating what it means to be a trans ally. But when media coverage focuses on the actions of cisgender individuals, it moves focus away from the fact that lack of proper medical care for trans people is a systemic issue and shifts our gaze to the stories of cis allies. The frat brothers are the conversation piece: they both created the conversation and are the subject of it, while Donnie’s experiences are discussed only briefly. Who gets to talk about trans people’s bodies and experiences? Cis people create the storyline and drive the narrative, and articles about the Indiegogo campaign reaffirm this trope.
This pattern perpetuates the assumption that cis people can talk about trans people’s bodies and experiences without their consent and without repercussions. In this case, Donnie welcomed the Indiegogo campaign as another platform he can use to share his experiences with the world, and has already made a variety of YouTube videos documenting his transition. However, for many trans people, their transition is a private journey. Stories like these make invisible the trans people who don’t medically transition as well as those who don’t want their transition to be public knowledge.
These stories also reify a singular trans narrative: that every trans person comes out, is supported, and begins a medical transition that includes hormone replacement therapy and at least one surgery. This is the story most people are comfortable hearing, but it does not reflect all trans people’s experiences and it alienates trans people whose experiences differ. It leaves out trans people who do not medically transition (whether because of personal preference or lack of access), who do not have a support system, and/or who are not vocal about their trans status.
We applaud the efforts of Donnie’s brothers — their campaign has helped change his life, and will continue to benefit trans people: they have pledged to donate the extra money they raised to the Jim Collins Foundation. Yet these efforts are not enough. We have to work toward systemic change in our healthcare system so trans people are not constantly fighting individual battles. And when we tell trans stories, we need to do so with a media that captures the full complexity of trans experiences.
*We use the asterisk here to suggest that the term “trans” can refer to a lot of identities under the trans umbrella. Here’s a great explanation of why. Our choice to use the asterisk in our first use of trans* and not thereafter was for readability.
We are changing our name. As some of you may have heard, we were approached by Ira Glass from the popular radio program and podcast This American Life. He and his attorneys found the title of our show This American Whore to be confusingly similar to his This American Life mark. We…
Photo by Larry Sultan, The Valley photographic series
This morning an article that I am quoted in was published in the SF Bay Guardian about capitalism and consent in BDSM pornography. The writer, Caitlin Donohue, and I talked at length on the phone, fully aware of complex nature of these issues. Since this subject is so loaded and important I wanted to expand on a few things that the article initiated. http://www.sfbg.com/2013/02/26/giving-consent-capitalism
This past year I have been teaching classes to high school and college students about healthy relationship, consent and sexual assault. The program that I teach looks at sexual violence in a very comprehensive way. We break down power, oppression and privilege. We address homophobic and sexist language and how all of these things contribute to oppression and rape culture. We talk about acquaintance rape (which accounts for 73% of all rape, myth busting the stereotypical portrayal of rape only happening to a women walking alone in a dark alley when she is overcome by a stranger). Most of us have seen this image floating around FB, twitter and tumblr
http://binged.it/ZJHEpe. Our society focuses on teaching women not to get raped, and skips over the part where we teach men not to rape women and other men. (Women can rape other women. And can rape men. But you have to have power in a situation in order to abuse it.) When assault or rape occurs our society frequently questions what the person was wearing, if they already went on a date with him, if they are promiscuous, went out alone or drank too much. We rarely question why the abuser has any right to hurt someone. This is timeless victim blaming that perpetuates inequality and rape culture. Most of the sex workers, activists and educators in my community recognize this problematic imbalance when talking about sexual violence and abuse.
So it seems strange to me to not apply this framework of systematic oppression and privilege when we talk about consent in pornography. Sexism, classism, racism, homo and transphobia do not disappear when the film starts rolling. We seem focused on the porn model’s responsibility to make sure nothing bad happens to us during a shoot. I have heard countless times that when it comes down to it, it is the models responsibility to draw the line. If models does not use a safe word it is not anyone’s fault but their own. When I describe consent to young students I say that consent is “when both parties enthusiastically agree. It is both parties responsibility to GIVE and GET consent.” I believe that on a pornography set both parties, the performers and the production company/director, have a shared role in giving and getting consent. It seems that as a sex positive community we understand the value of teaching the group with the most societal power (men) not to rape people and that it is not a person’s fault if they are attacked. So then would it not be appropriate to acknowledge the producer and directors role in consent on set?
It is important to not solely view consent in sex work as an abuser and victim scenario. Porn performers are not inherently victims and producers are not inherently exploitive. I am not writing this because I think a majority of models are being abused on set. I think that most of the time the producers, directors and models to a great job of communicating, giving and getting consent. Beautiful porno magic is mighty and thriving in the Bay Area! But I do think it matters how we handle it as a “community” when something bad does happen. The porn and kink community is a tight knit group and we face a lot of stigma and judgment from society because of our lifestyle and job. When speaking publicly I have a tendency to emphasize that, “Porn is empowering and makes me so happy!” because it does, but I also want to de-stigmatize and normalize what I do to the general public. We do not have a hand book or training on how to do porn the “right” way. We can sometimes make mistakes. When abuses of power do happen it is not ok to deny or criticize someone’s experience it because it is not your own or because it makes us all look bad. I believe that denouncing or hiding something abusive makes us all look much worse.
As models we want to perform well, we want to push our boundaries, we want to look sexy and desirable on film, we want to get paid, and we want to be hired again and again. As a director you have deadlines, budgets, employees and profits that you are responsible for. Each party has their own pressures. But it is important to recognize who has more power in the situation. You can be responsible with power and you can also abuse it. In a working environment the boss has more power. This does not mean that models have no power, it just means that we have less. The boss has the funding, the ability to rehire you, give a good or bad reference, further your career and money making ability. And they often have a slew of other models that would love to take your place. It is a models responsibility to learn about our boundaries and capabilities, to communicate our needs and use a safe word. And is the production company/director’s responsibility to communicate expectations clearly and to create an environment where the models truly feel comfortable changing something, slowing down or saying no.
When capitalism is involved it makes things….interesting. Money can be a perfectly legitimate reason to consent. Most people would not agree to show up at their 9-5 job if they were not being paid an agreed amount of money. Same applies in the adult industry. I absolutely love performing in porn, but if I was not being paid for a shoot, I would probably stay home and watch Downton Abbey. Consenting to sex for money can be about finding your own value and making worth your time and talents. In any job it feels awful to give more than you are being compinsated for. Taking money for something does not make it ok to take things further than originally agreed upon, and it is ok for a model to change their mind. Exploitation can be a common theme in capitalism, but this does not just pertain to the pornography industry.
Part of the problem is that each company or director communicates limits and safe words differently, if at all. This variance can make each shooting experience vastly different. As Dylan Ryan said in the SF Bay Guardian article, “so much of the onus is on the person to be thier own agent.” That is a lot of responsibility. Revolution rarely comes from the people with the most power and profit, I believe any industry change will need to be made by the models. I have been talking with many other performers and sex work rights activists about creating a type of “industry standards” rating system that would give performers access more information about each company/director, while creating a sense of accountability from production companies. I would love to talk with other models, directors and producers about what this could look like. I am interested in holding a meeting to talk about some of these issues further. If you are interested or have any ideas or input, please send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org I would love for our community to work together to maintain and improve consent culture on set.
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Kitty Stryker has been fighting the good fight for consent and BDSM for a while now. Please check out and love her organization http://www.consentculture.com/
Special thanks to Coral Aorta and her amazing poem “Whore Says”. The beautiful last line kept going through my head when I was thinking about capitalism, sex work and consent.